Okay, so this started out with me trying to self examine my appearance in my pup gear to how I want to look. But then I realised I am still really confused by collar ettiquette.
So what pup gear have I got currently? Well, I have everything that came from amazon with my first hood, and nothing esle. Black and Red neoprene hood, collar, harness and arm bands. Worn with some tight fitting black underwear and you have yourself Z as he can be seen on his own. And that is all well and good. I am comfortable, albeit a little cold at times, I can move around freely and I can actively access my headspace. But I can't exactly wear this out. More over I couldn't wear this to a pup event.
So what will I do different? Well for sarters, right now I do not think I can not wear the collar.
Why you ask? It certainly isn't that I do not want to wear it, I do. But, when I was first looking up pup play and gear I came across lots of different things regaurding collars and the kink community. In particular their symbolism of connection between the wearer and their master. Beyond that there were different types of collars representing different stages of that relationship, sometimes there was mention of actual collaring ceremonies. I am greatly oversimplifying this. But the fact is to some people collars, and wearing them, is not only very important but also steeped with meaning. In someways no different to engagement and wedding rings.
The idea of wearing a collar out makes me feel like I am belittling those who do value those rules and understand the etiquette. The last thing I would want to do is upset someone.
I am fortunate enough to have an incredibly understanding and supportive partner who is happy to play with me. But I also don't view him as Z's master. Realistically Z is a stray. (I hope I am using that correctly.) Heck I doubt he even knows that I want to be called Z when in my pup space.
I do want to wear a collar though. And there are two main features behind this; Firstly because when I visulaise a pup they are in a collar;
and secondly because I like how it feels. The tightness actually makes me feel quite secure. There is something about putting it on myself a little too tight makes me feel in control. Which is something I will certainly not be feeling much of when in pup mode and not in my own flat.
I think the question that I need to answer for myself is if I consider my pup play exeriances to be a kink, or a form of self expression? With the answer almost certainly somewhere between the two. Which just continues to make my collar conundrum ever present.
I'd love to know what others think. Am I worrying too much (yes). Does or has this concerned anyone else? What is the norm for those of you who actually do go out?
Many wags for reading,
(Side note: Beyond just a collar I would love to one day have a dog tag aswell, not a typical dog tag, it's quite specific, I'd want a tag in the shape of a Z, with defined corners and the little nobally bits vertically from the ends. Moreover, the diagonal I would want to be done with a double line with a small space in the middle, such that the overall design resembels the mathematics bold Z. I've put too much thought into this but also have no idea how i'd ever make it a reality.)